For our staff meeting this week, we looked at the second section of Henri Nouwen's (not pronounced as "Onry Nooven," like a fellow intern once thought), In the Name of Jesus. As I read through this section, a couple of things really stuck out to me in the way I approach ministry and my relationship with God.

The first chapter of the section talks about the reasons we do things and it is appropriately titled "The Temptation to be Spectacular." Nouwen talks about how he has lived his life as a tight rope artist walking on a high, thin cable from tower to tower waiting for the applause of the spectators when he has not fallen off and broken his leg. I thought of this and how often I do things as an intern looking for applause from the staff at UMin or from peers for what I have done in ministry. I thought about the need I have to feel validated by the people around me instead of from the God whom I say I work for. The thing is that I really do the things I do for God, BUT I am so easily distracted by the feeling I get when people on this earth tell me "good job" or "you are doing such great things for God's Kingdom." There are times I have made it across the tight rope, and there are times I have fallen - fallen hard! Those times included pretty much the entire first quarter as I tried to figure out what I was supposed to be doing as a UMin intern. And, as I tried to walk across the line, I would fall, and everyone saw it. I had no Core Group, then I had one and I didn't follow up with them...the list goes on. Jesus was also tempted to be spectacular, to cross the tight rope, too. In Matthew 4:6 Jesus is tempted by the devil, to do things that would receive praise for being a stunt man. Jesus wanted people to listen to Him because of the truth of His words and actions. What are the times when you act as a tight rope artist? How have you fallen off the line?

-Posted by Brian Petermeyer, UMin intern

Resources for Romans Series

Some resources you might want to check out for further studies on Romans:

Resources and Bibliography:

Gordon Fee and Douglas Stuart, How to Read the Bible Book by Book. The perfect guide for getting a handle on the basic themes of Romans. This tool is especially helpful if you are going to sit down and read straight through the letter on your own.

Douglas Moo, The Epistle to the Romans. This is more information that you want, but Moo covers every argument on every issue throughout Romans. His comments on the structure of the letter were particularly insightful and consequently influenced the structure of this series. Originally recommended to me by George Hinman.

Earl Palmer, Salvation by Surprise. In my opinion, this is Earl’s best; Complete with diagrams this is might actually be the most clearly systematic of the commentaries that I worked with. Earl follows the structure of Paul’s argument very closely and helps readers understand each section as the argument progresses.

Tom (N.T.) Wright, Paul for Everyone: Romans (One and Two). Accessible commentary where N.T. Wright essentially gives “kids sermons” on the different themes throughout Romans. A very helpful resource when you are trying to figure out what not to say or cover. Wright has gone on to write some of the most provocative stuff on Romans in decades, most of it pretty heady.

N.T. Wright, Justification. Wright’s exploration of Paul’s theology of justification through Galatians and Romans. He takes a covenantal approach to justification in response to John Piper’s recent book challenging Wright.

John Piper, The Future of Justification, a Response to N.T. Wright. A justification understanding through the lens of the Reformers, directly challenging the theology of justification of N.T. Wright.

Paul Achtemeier, Romans (Interpretation Commentary). Achtemeier does an excellent job of clarifying the issues for the average reader, but offers an in-depth account that addresses all of the issues that Paul is unpacking in Romans.

Amazed

I once heard of a young boy who was told that Jesus once said that you could say to a mountain, “Move from here to there!” and it would move. With faith, this little boy told a mountain to move. Years later, Mount St. Helens erupted! “Did I cause that?!” he wondered in his childlike faith.

When I hear about having a faith that can move mountains, I immediately want it and yet, at the same time, am aware that what I do have is mountains of unbelief and doubt within me. My doubt is not solely about moving mountains. My doubt is also not confined to some of what I would call the big questions of the Christian faith: Does God exist? Did Jesus really did die for my sins and rise three days later? These are important questions, but my doubts tend to run much more along the lines of: “Is God really in my midst and does He even like me? Can God really redeem me and make me new, even in those broken areas that don’t seem to ever be healed? Are God’s promises really for me? Can God really use me? Is God really using me… Or is this all in vain?”

A couple months ago someone pointed out one word spoken by Jesus about faith that I have not been able to shake. They have captivated my attention and given me great encouragement in the area of faith.

One place this word is seen is in Luke 7, where a Centurion asked Jesus to give the word to heal his servant. Here is Jesus’ response: “When Jesus heard this, he was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd following him, he said, "I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel." Then the men who had been sent returned to the house and found the servant well.”

The second place this word is seen is in Mark 6, when Jesus visits his hometown people take offense at him there. In response, Jesus said to them, “Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor." He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their lack of faith.”

Amazed. I am amazed that Jesus, the Son of God, can be amazed. But there it is, Jesus was amazed by two things: faith and the lack of faith.

I am convinced that Jesus, at times, is amazed by my faith and that He is also sometimes amazed by my lack of faith. I flip back and forth between the two. I am rarely 100% full of faith, nor 100% lacking faith. I’m usually somewhere in between the two.

What has resonated deep in my soul and has become the prayer on my lips and in my mind, is one I have copied, verbatim, from another character in the Bible. This time it’s from a man who is nameless, known only as, “the boy’s father.” His son needed help, so he came to Jesus. The father said to Jesus, “But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." “If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

In the midst of the pendulum of faith and doubt that I swing upon, my earnest prayer has become, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" In this, I can be honest about my lack of faith and doubt, and at the same time ask for help in becoming one who might amaze Jesus with the presence of faith.

Posted by Emily Vancil

Past, Present, Future Faith

My own experience of faith and doubt is not one that I find to be that uncommon. As I look back over the years of my life it could not be more obvious that God has constantly been at work. I am thankful for the way that He has used my experiences and even my struggles in the Fiji fraternity during my college days to help me better understand how to relate to and minister to the guys in the house now. I never would have made it through 2 tough years working college Young Life down in Alabama if I wouldn’t have learned how to persevere through tough times while playing football here at the UW. The people God has used in my life have been obvious as I can pinpoint conversations and invitations given to me that guided me to the place I am in now. I have complete faith as I look into my past that God has guided my steps, even the times I have doubted what was going on.

As I look down the road in the future I am confident in the hope that I have in Christ Jesus. I do have faith in where he is leading me and that he is in control in my life and that when I look back in 15 years I will be even more confident that he has been at work than I am right now.

But where I get stuck often, is how often I question if God is at work in my life right now. And when I can’t see it or feel it, it is hard to know if it is real. Now this mostly comes at times where I don’t want God to actually be God, I want him to respond to my personal desires, but I still I get wrapped up in wondering what it looks like to experience God’s love in the present. “If he loved me, would this have happened?” I often ask thinking I know best for myself. And if I have faith in the past, and hope in the future, why don’t I always know how to experience that love in the present? What does that love look like? How do I know that it is here and active and present when I don’t feel it?

As God spoke into the silence over 2000 years to awaken the world that he is ever present on this earth, what came out of it was a tangible expression of his love. First in the Christmas story, soon followed by the Easter story. And the way that I experience that love in the present, is by the faith I have that when Jesus paid the price on the cross so many years ago, he did so out of a love for me that I can’t even fathom. And I absolutely believe that if Jesus Christ would have died just for me, and if I was the only one saved that day, that he would do it all again, just for me.

It doesn’t answer every question I have, but it does help to understand what love really is.

Posted by Mike McEvoy

The Tension

I often hear people talk about how we need to hold things in tension when it comes to faith. I don't think I have ever understood that better than on July 4, 2008. That day, I was in Corinth, Greece. It was not any of Paul's words to the Corinthians that moved me to deeper understanding of Truth, but a jump at the Corinth Canal. I was not expecting to bungee jump that day, but something inside me told me it was an experience I just couldn't pass up. Something else inside me, though, kept reminding me that something could definitely go wrong when you're jumping off of a bridge 150 feet above the water. What I was holding in tension was my faith in the rope and the people who understood the rope versus my doubts that everything would go well and I would return home unharmed. How did I test that? I jumped.

This is not an analogy where the rope is a metaphor for God. God is much more reliable than a bungee cord. But, because I was afraid that the jump could lead to death or injury, I was doubtful and I was forced to hold doubt and faith in tension. I can't, however, stand on the edge forever, endlessly weighing which side of my brain I trusted more.

When I experience deep pain or witness extreme injustice, I certainly find myself doubting a faithful God. There was a time when I would recognize that doubt and determine that I must not have enough faith. Now, though, I understand that true faith does not come without doubt. If I think I have faith without doubt, then I don't have faith at all - I have certainty. But we are called to faith, and ultimately, that faith must lead us to "jump." Trust me, it would have been a lot easier to take the plunge in Corinth from a place of certainty, but it was weighing all the doubts in my mind that made it a leap of faith.

Posted by Becky Riggers

Faith and Law: Reasonable Doubt

A lawyer friend of mine recently shared with me the instructions a jury is given prior to a trial:

A reasonable doubt is a doubt that exists and may arise from the evidence or lack of evidence. It is such a doubt as would exist in the mind of a reasonable person after fully, fairly, and carefully considering all of the evidence or lack of evidence. If, from such consideration, you have an abiding belief in the truth of the charge, you are satisfied beyond a reasonable doubt.

How does being satisfied beyond reasonable doubt translate to faith? This same friend, who is a prosecuting attorney, talked about reasonable doubt being like a puzzle. She gave the example of a puzzle with a lot of pieces and some of those pieces are missing. She invited me to think of a puzzle that is a picture of a barn. If, without looking at the picture on the box, you can tell it’s a barn, even if there a pieces missing, you probably have enough evidence to make a decision. She pushed back on her own analogy by acknowledging that pieces missing here and there are a lot different than if an entire section of the puzzle is missing, wherein the whole picture is compromised and it is difficult to determine the bigger picture. Bottom line: in the legal realm as it is with faith, certainty is not always attainable, nor is it the ultimate goal. Rather, seeing past circumstantial evidence and seeing the big picture (abiding belief in the truth) is the goal.

When we consider God’s covenant and steady relationship with Israel do we count it as evidence of God’s love? When we think of the grand positives of the Mosaic law do we count it as evidence of God’s love? When we consider the life, death and resurrection of Jesus do we count it as evidence of God’s love? While at times in our faith there are pieces missing and pieces that don’t seem to fit, can we see the big picture of a loving God that seeks unfiltered relationship with God’s creation?

It brings to mind Paul’s words in one of the most beloved chapters of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13: “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

There are enough pieces to sustain my faith that God’s love for me is real. While I long to see and know the fullness of the picture of grace, compassion and love of God found in Jesus, I can see enough of the picture to give me great hope.

Expectation = Doubt

When it comes to questions about faith and doubt, the one that always arises for me is “why?” Not, “Why does God work in the way that God does,” but “Why do we have such a tendency to doubt that God is at work, and will be at work to carry through.?”

Recently, I was reading Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald, and he partially blames this tendency to doubt God’s promises on our expectations. And not just normal human expectations, but the expectations that we have in America because of the fact that we were born and raised in America. In reference to God’s promises to answer our prayers, he writes:

We live in a society that is reasonably organized. Put a letter in the box, and it usually ends up where you want it to go. Order an item on the Internet, and it usually comes to you in the right size, color, and model. Ask someone to provide you a service, and it is reasonable to expect that it will work out that way. In other words, we are used to results in response to our arrangements. That is why prayer can be discouraging for some of us. How can we predict the result? We are tempted to abandon prayer as a viable exercise and to try getting the results ourselves.

This observation resonated with me when it comes to the doubts that I have about the promises of God. My expectations are based solely on what I have come to expect in this human world, and I tend to place God in that box. When I don’t see the results I desire, I doubt that God will follow through, or has already followed through as the case can sometimes be.

This reminds me of experiences in other countries, where the values and expectations of the culture are completely different from my own. When standing in a queue isn’t the standard mode of operation, but rather people sort of mob toward whatever it is they are waiting for, I have stood there flabbergasted (and irritated) that this is the way things work. Of course, my culture knows the “right way” to make things work!

Isn’t that how we approach our faith in God and God’s promises? One wonders if the limitations we place on God are causing our own faith to remain stagnant and narrow. What would happen if we could remove our human tendencies to expect God to fit into the culture that we come from, and instead, allow God to blow our expectations out of the water?

Posted by Janie Stuart